Sexual Behvior. Part 1

When sex becomes all-consuming

People who are sexually compulsive can’t seem to stop themselves from seeking sexual experiences despite possible severe consequences for their actions. They may risk exposing themselves to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). They may sexually abuse others, habitually lie at the expense of relationships, be arrested for lewd behavior, accrue large debts or lose their jobs. They may engage in other high-risk behaviors, such as abusing drugs or alcohol.

Preoccupation with sex literally distracts them from what they should be doing — and they know it. Each time they act out sexually they say they’ll never do it again, and are afraid others will find out. Their inability to stop often leads to feelings of shame, guilt, fear, remorse, self-loathing and loneliness.

Why some can’t control urges

Sex for the ‘sex addict’ is generally not about the act itself or love or pleasure. Those who believe in the addiction model argue sex is like a drug — the rush of endorphins following orgasm is a “high” to be sought again and again by the addict. Those who label sexual compulsiveness as a symptom of another psychological disorder argue sex becomes a maladaptive coping mechanism for other psychological difficulties.

What is consistent between the two schools of thought is that typically people who exhibit compulsive sexual behavior do not have a healthy view of sexuality. They may have been sexually or physically abused as children, and often the compulsive behaviors began in their teens. Sex to them may not be about intimacy, but rather about power and control or filling what they define as a void in their lives.

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